She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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