I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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