Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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