When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
