My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
