i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
