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Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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