yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
