Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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