As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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