Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
