Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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