i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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