I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
