Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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