Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
