you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
