We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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