You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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