No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
