shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
