dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize