DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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