i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
