We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
