Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
