We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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