Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
