What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Randomize
