I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
