I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
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He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
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Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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