just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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