Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
they're like a gay fantastic four
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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