When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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