so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
They took my balls.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Randomize
