Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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