Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
