Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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