Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
