I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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