I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize