9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
well, you know. whores of a feather.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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