I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
