It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
