Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Found your dick twin last night
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
