im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
