I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
