Define "chronic" masturbator.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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