I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
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this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
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The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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