drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
