Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Damn victory sex feels great
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
