i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize