Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
