carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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