ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
