dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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