his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
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We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
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Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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