Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
