Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize