their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
