So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have fence marks all over my body
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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