Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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